I didn’t build a network to look at

Posted on by aurorameyer

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A friend and mentor recently said those exact words, which are rather profound.

With social media, it is easier than ever before to connect with colleagues and friends across states and countries. However, if you aren’t leveraging these contacts for yourself and for the good of the network, then what’s the point?

Networks should a relationship built on give and take. You should be sharing ideas, having conversations and adding value. Don’t just tap the network when you need something.

The Berkley Alumni site has great tips on networking basics, including this gem: Honor the networking code.

“Another way to say this is ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ If you want to have your phone calls returned, return phone calls. If you want help with your career, you must be willing to help others.”

Advancing everyone in the network is the point, be it a new career, industry insights or just advice. Networks should make everyone better.

Don’t respond angry

Posted on by aurorameyer

 

Image from: http://i.ehow.com/images/a05/i8/kc/address-angry-customer-email-200X200.jpg

Inevitably, you’re going to get an e-mail from a supervisor, colleague or friend that angers you. You’ll be upset and want to respond using choice words. I had a supervisor who once called these kinds of e-mails 2x4s because, like in Saturday morning cartoons, they usually come out of the blue and smack you across the forehead.

 

The usual advice is to write those choice words and be angry, just don’t hit send. I’d suggest not writing the e-mail in the first place. If you must, write it out by hand, on a piece of paper. Michael Hyatt’s Stop: Don’t Send That Angry E-Mail advises this method as well. He, like many before him, has reread an angry letter only to later be embarrassed by what he wrote.

If you have the luxury, close the window, walk away from the computer and do something else. For 5 minutes, an hour or even better, overnight.

A Google search of “don’t respond angry” will take you to the Business Insider’s How To Respond To An Angry E-mail (And Not Let It Destroy Your Career) suggests offering to meet the sender face to face or at least over the phone. Conversational context can make the difference between a misunderstanding and intent.

Hyatt’s trusted advisers often as him, what are you trying to accomplish with your response? It’s a great question. The first answer might be to hurt the person’s feelings back. Childish, true, but it’s a reflex. Once you get beyond that, really ask yourself what you want to accomplish in the communication.

In summary, a commenter on Hyatt’s post, John Jackson, reiterates the phrase, “Praise in print, criticize in person.” If you follow that rule as closely as  the golden rule, you should save yourself from responding angry and regretting it later.