“Yes, but” is one of the most toxic phrases you can say in a work environment and can diminish your chances of getting an offer in an interview. Author Linnda Durre writes in this Forbes.com article, saying this phrase “will make you sound noncommittal, undependable and untrustworthy.”
Not to mention “Yes, but” comes across as passive aggressive. At minimum, you are saying to the person you are conversing with, “I heard you and don’t agree.” Or your really just meant to say no.
The bottom line is that saying, “yes, but” is an excuse.
Those who utter “yes, but” don’t really want answers, help, or solutions Durre states.
Do you agree?
I read a book recently that suggested that instead of “Yes, but,” you say, “Yes, and…” which gives you the chance to agree and also add your own perspective. I’ve been making a conscious effort to use this phrase because although I hadn’t heard this research (thank you for sharing, it’s really eye-opening!) intuitively I think “Yes, but” sounds like a roadblock… an invitation to stop listening!
Amy,
What a great suggestion!
Aurora