Everyone has had an experience in elementary school where someone was left out. Left out of a birthday invitation or left out of a game on the playground. It sucked as a child and it’s even more hurtful and damaging as an adult.
Continued exclusion of your co-workers creates a hostile work environment for everyone.
It wasn’t fair to exclude people as a child. If your parents were anything like mine, you probably got scolded for excluding them, regardless of your reasons. It is even more unfair and beyond that, disrespectful to exclude people as an adult.
If you are going to invite the whole office to a party or get together, make sure you invite the whole office. Even the people you don’t necessarily like. Not only will it go toward creating a goodwill bridge with that person, but also you might find you like them a lot better in the non-office setting.
I’ve been fortunate in my professional career that I’ve never worked in an office setting where there were various social levels. Sure, upper management may not socialize with the rest of the office, but that’s not uncommon. I find that a great working environment happens when you actually become friends with your co-workers and want to spend time with them outside of the office.
Knowing what makes a person tick, not just what they’re like 40 hours a week, is what makes them easier, or even more fun, to work with.
Matt,
I admit, I didn’t think this culture still existed. I’m disappointed that it does and intend to start making inroads by adamantly ensuring I go to lunch with several different people and inviting every single person to any event I ever hold for the office. I am a strong advocate of the benefit of the doubt and I’ve found when you actually take the time to get to know those you work with, the benefit of the doubt is much easier to give. Not to mention your point about finding out what makes them tick. You never know who is going to have a shared interest!
Aurora